He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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