My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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