i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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