So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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