Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Randomize