I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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