You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
bring money and cleavage
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
