You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.