Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.