i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Dating After Heartbreak
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah