I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it