The maid of honor just puked.
I will die if light touches me.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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