toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
