update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
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I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
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Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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