but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
