he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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