You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
