He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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