i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize