I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
