i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
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