Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
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what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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