Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize