Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
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