fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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