She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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