Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Why am I in a dog kennel?

(1-803): View more from South Carolina

It was for your own safety

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(714): View more from California

I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay

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(928): View more from Arizona

note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea

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(703): View more from Virginia

At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.

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(315): View more from New York

I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.

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(773): View more from Illinois

I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.

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(867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!

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