Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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