So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
