What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
