The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize