Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Acid is not a monday night drug
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
