Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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