i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize