I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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