Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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