I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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