I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Can I color on your dick again?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My vagina is very pro this idea
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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