I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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