I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
