apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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