You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
