Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize