he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So many bounce houses so little time
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Randomize
