2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
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He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
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We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He has the fingertips of a God
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