The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
