Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize