Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
