David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
