I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize