How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
