arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
there was a trapeze. enough said
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
