I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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