Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize