I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
