Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
dude. I can hear the air.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
