the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
