i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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