My hand turned me down
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
