he wants to bone in the snuggie
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize