My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
